Monthly Archives: August 2013

Me, the Fly and Teddy Pendergrass

fly plant

When you’re chasing a fly around your apartment at 3 o’clock in the morning listening to Teddy Pendergrass, you may need to re-evaluate some of your life choices. It’s one of those moments when you kinda need to take a step back and actually laugh at yourself. Never did I think I’d be swinging a dish rag around trying to get rid of a fly. But in this shoebox of an apartment, there’s really not enough room for the both of us. Seriously questioning who’s the more “fit” species. This little bastard is ruining my Teddy Pendergrass playlist and I refuse to let some common house pest dictate my music selection because the damn thing is just about driving me insane.

What’s that “like a fly on a wall” saying? Do flies actually just sit, perched on walls because this one hardly pauses from its aerial cardio? I cannot help but notice it. I can see the shadow it casts when it flies around the naked light bulb. I can hear it when it buzzes by my ear. I can see it when it takes a break just out of my reach but not directly under the high ceilings. The thing is taunting me.

Teddy knows a thing or two about seducing the listener but I don’t know how much he knew about the shoo-ing or killing of flies. I do, however, feel as intensely about getting rid of this thing as Mr. Pendergrass does about turning off the lights. The only reason I want the fly to come closer is so I can swat it. Life’s full of unsexy moments, and I’m sure Teddy has been played during some sexual mishaps, but swinging a dish rag at a fly with a vengeance has got to be pretty high up on the list. I look and feel ridiculous. Caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror — mistake.

I’ve opened the window. I’ve tried to shoo it outside. Now I just want to kill it. It would be nice to be super in tune with nature and calmly direct it back outside, but I’m not that person. I’m fully aware how silly the whole situation is but if I just “let it go” I will have been defeated by a fly. Saying I do not like to lose would be putting it lightly. My efforts have not been made in vain. I should probably be redirecting this dedication to some more fruitful area of my life but the fly is a problem right now.

Finally made rag to fly contact but my follow through was weak. Unfortunately it’s all about the follow through. I know it’s late but I’m not ready to throw in the towel just yet. I may not be winning at the moment, but I will. For now, it’s just me, the fly and Teddy Pendergrass.

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Is It Just Like Riding a Bike?

bike wheel

Kids aren’t really afraid of asking for help or falling. I don’t know exactly when I became afraid of doing both of those things, all I know is that I am. It’s not really a matter of raising a hand when you need help or sticking on a band-aid when you do fall. Twenty-ish and I feel like I’ve lost that carefree abandon. Or maybe I’ve simply misplaced it. So now I’m taking baby steps, doing one thing that I’ve pretty much written off since elementary school: learning how to ride a bike.

Kids are fearless. They ride bikes without thinking of cuts and scrapes, bruises and broken bones. Just thinking of mounting a bike I imagine I’ll end up in some emergency room. But it’s so simple. Kids do it everyday.

I realize it’s pretty silly to keep shrugging it off. There’s never been a more crucial time to relearn how to ask for help or to tackle an obstacle I’ve previously given up one more time (or two, three, etc). I hope that if I start with something so small, so trivial as riding a bike maybe I won’t feel the same debilitating fear as I tackle the bigger, scarier “monsters” in life. It’ll probably feel embarrassing, awkward and completely ridiculous but at least I can bypass the whole “no ice cream before dinner” bullshit and stick on my own band aids because I damn well can.

But first, I need to ask for help. And like most instances where you’re mortified before the words even begin to form, I’m calling one of my best friends. He’ll laugh, sure, but at least it’s a laugh I can deal with, and one that will find my shaky handle bar steering endearing instead of pathetic. It’s been quite a while since I’ve frankly had to ask for help, but hopefully “it’s like riding a bike”. Even more importantly, I might actually find some meaning in that ridiculous saying after shyly admitting “but I can’t” over the years. Wish me luck!

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