Me, the Fly and Teddy Pendergrass

fly plant

When you’re chasing a fly around your apartment at 3 o’clock in the morning listening to Teddy Pendergrass, you may need to re-evaluate some of your life choices. It’s one of those moments when you kinda need to take a step back and actually laugh at yourself. Never did I think I’d be swinging a dish rag around trying to get rid of a fly. But in this shoebox of an apartment, there’s really not enough room for the both of us. Seriously questioning who’s the more “fit” species. This little bastard is ruining my Teddy Pendergrass playlist and I refuse to let some common house pest dictate my music selection because the damn thing is just about driving me insane.

What’s that “like a fly on a wall” saying? Do flies actually just sit, perched on walls because this one hardly pauses from its aerial cardio? I cannot help but notice it. I can see the shadow it casts when it flies around the naked light bulb. I can hear it when it buzzes by my ear. I can see it when it takes a break just out of my reach but not directly under the high ceilings. The thing is taunting me.

Teddy knows a thing or two about seducing the listener but I don’t know how much he knew about the shoo-ing or killing of flies. I do, however, feel as intensely about getting rid of this thing as Mr. Pendergrass does about turning off the lights. The only reason I want the fly to come closer is so I can swat it. Life’s full of unsexy moments, and I’m sure Teddy has been played during some sexual mishaps, but swinging a dish rag at a fly with a vengeance has got to be pretty high up on the list. I look and feel ridiculous. Caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror — mistake.

I’ve opened the window. I’ve tried to shoo it outside. Now I just want to kill it. It would be nice to be super in tune with nature and calmly direct it back outside, but I’m not that person. I’m fully aware how silly the whole situation is but if I just “let it go” I will have been defeated by a fly. Saying I do not like to lose would be putting it lightly. My efforts have not been made in vain. I should probably be redirecting this dedication to some more fruitful area of my life but the fly is a problem right now.

Finally made rag to fly contact but my follow through was weak. Unfortunately it’s all about the follow through. I know it’s late but I’m not ready to throw in the towel just yet. I may not be winning at the moment, but I will. For now, it’s just me, the fly and Teddy Pendergrass.

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9 thoughts on “Me, the Fly and Teddy Pendergrass

  1. Kelly says:

    We had a major fly problem a few weeks ago, and I found that I’m absolutely terrible at swatting them. What I did was turn off all the lights and open the door (or window). Flies goes towards light, so if your apartment is dark and it’s bright outside, the fly will leave. Good luck!

  2. hopehoplite says:

    I had a similar experience with a wasp, a shoe, and a notebook. I was glad nobody could see me tripping over my coffee table and raising the spiral to cover my face! Opening the window actually helped me out, though. 🙂

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