Tag Archives: adulthood

Pre-planned Hangovers

pint beer

After a certain age, hangovers should be planned. Now, that doesn’t mean you can’t spontaneously have a night out on the town, but it does mean that you need to be prepared when you get home. Waking up in some new kind of hell, because it seems as we get older hangovers get stronger, longer and infinitely more evil, ultimately becomes unacceptable. There are a number of ways to prepare yourself for the drinking aftermath. I swear by bubbles. I refuse to be hungover and without the fizzy little bastards. When you don’t have whatever it is you need, you’ll curse that very same thing. Luckily, I’ve started buying a bottle (or two) of sparkling water to have around just in case. It’s a pretty solid insurance policy. Especially in the summer months where there tends to be a lot of goodbye parties, visiting friends and the odd quiz night where you end up winning a meter of shots.

After I sleepily downed nearly a liter of my saving grace, I was pretty damn spritely. Now water can do many things, but it does not make for a good meal. The last thing I’m trying to do while fighting off last night’s demons is to whip up anything time consuming. Ideally, this is where leftovers come in. They’re free, prepared and sometimes you don’t even have to heat them. Those are my favorite. Second best would be pizza. I’ve been guilty of drunkenly pre-ordering. I’m fairly sure that’s why Domino’s lets you schedule next day delivery in the wee hours of the morning. Who is soberly ordering pizza after 2am? Sometimes your wallet might hate you. Sometimes the doorbell becomes your mortal enemy. But every single time, you will eventually need to roll out of bed and get the damn pizza. Some days that is an easy feat but every now and again you feel like you’re training for a triathlon just trying to get some semblance of food into your belly. The day bedside pizza delivery happens will be a very joyous and dark day. I might just eat myself into a food coma I cannot come back from.

Now, I’m not one for popping pills, but sometimes even I give in. And when I do, it seems like the heavens open just enough to shine on my medicine cabinet with the Advil sat there, glittering in all its glory. You do not want to be caught empty handed with a tear-inducing headache. Especially not when shots happened the night before. Keeping a bottle of relief on hand will make you want to high-five your past self for being a responsible adult, especially when you mixed alcohols, despite knowing better.

I don’t know how many hangovers it takes to finally start planning for them. My guess is it’s different for everyone. All I do know is I’ve had enough, and I refuse to curl up in a ball and be punished for having a good time. If you’re not pre-planning your hangovers, you are essentially just punishing yourself. And we all could use less of that, and more self high-fives for being smart about it. If being equipped to take on a hangover (and the rest of your day) isn’t an act of self-love, I don’t know what is! I’ll cheers to that, but maybe not just yet.

Shout out to my team 43, for placing in last night’s quiz. Without you, I would not have blogged today. (Totally named our team after a bottle of delicious, vanilla flavoured booze. Should’ve known where the night was heading!)

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Aaliyah – The Coach

As a longtime Aaliyah fan, I have only just realized what a great coach she was. Yes, that’s right, coach. While there’s no denying that “Rock the Boat” could easily two step you into the bedroom, and even lend a hand when it comes to directions, it is so much more.

There’s no shortage of advice on how to achieve x, y or z behind closed doors in the internet age, but sometimes an explicit example is necessary. ‘Rock the Boat’ is just that, only ironically subtle. Let me explain.

When it comes to sex, it can be a little uncomfortable starting a dialogue about likes, dislikes, needs and the shebang, there’s no denying it. Aaliyah delves right into the conversation with a sultry voice right from the start. Ideally, that’s how things should go. There was no shame in her game and that I can applaud. While this song was released thirteen years ago, I find that it promotes a sex-positive philosophy and comes from a place of empowerment. It’s one thing to take matters into your own hands, it is another to guide. Her approach is so unthreatening that I had no idea she was coaching lovers until today. Throughout the entire song she is giving her partner directions without ever sounding like a drill sergeant, encouraging without being inauthentic all in a safe, comfortable environment of mmm’s and ooh’s that truly allow a person to thrive.

I’m a pretty firm believer in the saying “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it”. The way Aaliyah asks for what she needs is so graceful. Now, not everyone is a songbird, but that doesn’t mean our wants and needs aren’t just as valid. Sex can be one of the most vulnerable experiences and treating people with care should be written in the rules somewhere. No one wants to be mid-romp getting bossed around, feeling incompetent and like they might get subliminally tweeted about in a post-sex selfie with #fail. No one needs that. Go ahead and be vocal but don’t be insensitive about it. When Aaliyah needs a little more she gives permission. Pretty sure THAT is the secret. “Go ahead and put that thing in overdrive” may be a mouthful but at least it’s not hurtful. And see, no egos were harmed while rocking her boat.

While giving pep talks may not be your cup of tea, using them between the sheets is pretty genius if you ask me. Aaliyah delivers a breathy pep talk that not only gets your engines going but instills confidence and hope. Okay, maybe not hope exactly, but when’s the last time you told someone to reach down deep within themselves and “use [themselves] like [they] never used it before”? That right there speaks to the soul, that untapped potential that people keep talking about. It’s about heart and getting in there like you’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

I highly recommend dusting off Aaliyah’s self-titled album and seeing if ‘Rock the Boat’ sounds different now. It was always sexy, but this is pretty much straight out of the sex goddess playbook. And unlike most of the articles you’ll likely stumble upon, you can hear just how it should be done. Not everything should be left to imagination, especially when you’re worried of sounding too harsh, unnatural, or even emasculating. Leave it to Aaliyah, the princess of R&B, and now the coach of all coaches.

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